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I, I've got you on your back,
Just got my freedom back.
I got this feeling i'm insane as my hand starts to rub your sack
I'l ask, polite if this child needs a ride
Because the devil on my right tells me that his butt will be tight
I nabbed you from your house, while you were walking out
I got the car door opened up i've got some candy lets have fun
Your mom, won't know that you were missing
She'd be pissed if she could see the parts of you that i'll be kissing
Screamin

(No! He's never gonna quit
thinks nothings wrong with it
He's just the local pedophile
No, matter where he goes
cause everybody knows
He's just the local pedophile

So come on kiddie get in
get in just get in
Guess where that candy has been)

Your, beside him on the seat
got his hands between your knees
and you control how hard he goes by just how much you tell him please
It's hard, to steer when your telling him he's queer
But he's got both hands on the wheel while you start breaking down in tears
By now, you know its going in your mouth,
I guess no one ever taught you what rape was all about.
You best not spit, while he's making you his bitch,
It felt so good both of his legs started to twitch

Chorus

See, he's parked by the bike racks,
He's sitting in the back
and he's unwrapping candy when he whispers
Want some of that?
A trick, i think cause nobody knows where we are
and that was when he started screaming
GET YOUR ASS INSIDE MY CAR!
Oh geez, my knees there hitting the ignition
So he throws me on the floor while he is switching his position
I hope, there won't be any kissing
And that was when i tried to tell him that my dad would know i'm missing
Screamin!

Chorus

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Southern California
(to The Eagles ‘Hotel California’ – sung in heavy Latino accent)

On a dark strip of highway, INS over there
Warm smell of tequila, black fish-net in my hair (so greasy)
Up ahead in the distance, I see the US of A
If I can make somebody pregnant there I heard
Their government will pay (big money)

So I called out to Paco, “Please hand me the wine” (He said)
“We haven’t drank this Thunderbird here since yesterday morning at nine”
Then through the bushes we crawlin’ so far away
Hop a fence in the middle of the night. I can’t wait to say…

Welcome to the Southern California’s
Such a lovely place (the most lovely place) for the Latino race
There isn’t much room left in Southern California
But everyday of year (every single year) illegal’s flocking here

(slow tempo, play soft)

I learned how to speak English watching reruns of Miami Vice
(And Tubb’s said) “We are all just immigrants here, so let’s all play nice” (Gracias!)
And then I watched the Scarface from beginning to end
I loved it when Pacino said “Say hello to my little friend” (Hola amigo!)

(back to regular tempo)

Next thing I remember I was running for the border (Arriva!)
I hopped up on a luggage rack and Paco hid under the floor
“Relax” I said to Paco, as we drove off into the night
The police won’t even search this car, you know, because the drive is white (it's true!)

Then we pulled into LA, I caught a familiar smell
And I was thinking to myself “this must be heaven ‘cuz there’s Taco Bell”
I hear those Taquito’s calling not so far away
Hot-wire a car in the middle of the night. We’re finally here to stay…

Welcome to the Southern California’s
Such a lovely place (the most lovely place) for the Latino race
There isn’t much room left in Southern California
But my car’s jacked-up nice, (really jacked-up nice) with the pink fuzzy dice

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Hey Aunt Jemima
Whats it's like to be sticky?
I'm addicted and obsessed
and now you cause me so much pity
Ya you do
I'm really fat because of you
I have big boobs


Hey Aunt Jemima
I'm so worried about my large tits
Your always there when I get lonely
I even spread you over my ritz
Your so rude
Did I mention I was a dude?
With real big boobs

CHORUS:
Oh too many calories
Oh stop selling it to me
Oh too many calories
Oh I can't touch my knees
I can't touch my knees


Hey Aunt Jemima
My Eggos are getting hard
But just relieve me girl
And lemme pour you over my pop tart
They will be good
I'll have the Atkins diet goods
I'm understood

Hey aunt Jemima
I've got so much stashed away
now I don't even wanna open you
Save my heart another day
or maybe two
Believe me auntie I'll learn to crawl
The weight will fall


CHORUS:
Oh too many calories
Oh stop selling it to me
Oh too many calories
Oh I can't touch my knees


Down the hall seems pretty far
But I can use my legs and arms
I'd Crawl to you if I had to lose my weight
All my friends make fun of me
And I just laugh along because I know
That one day I will see my knees
Jemima I will resist you
I really hope that it is true
If not ill never ever see my wang
And your to blame


Hey Aunt Jemima
I really don't miss you at all
it's been two years and now I'm done with food
That will make me look like Biggy Smalls
And no it's not because of you
I can eat whatever I want to
Hey Aunt Jemima I love you
But can's eat you




CHORUS:
Oh too many calories
Oh stop selling it to me
Oh too many calories
Oh I can't touch my knees
I can't touch my knees

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wooot

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